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About Kranj

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First customer walks in. Old dude, probably been around since dinosaurs roamed. He’s got a cart full of stuff—like, seriously, who needs 10 jars of pickles? I mean, I love pickles, but c’mon! He’s fumbling with his wallet, and I’m just standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Dude, I got a line forming here!” Finally, he pays in coins. COINS! I’m counting them like I’m in a heist movie.

Enjoy Kurenti, Food, & Music at Ptuj’s Obarjada, 15 Feb, the Start of Pust 2020